My motives for writing this blog are purely selfish. I have spent the last six years of my life substituting for absent school secretaries and office managers in elementary schools. My first task each morning is to write tardy slips for latecomers. I ask each child to tell me their name, and I write the name on the tardy slip. They may say “Julie.” So I write “Julie.” “No,” they say. “Not like that. It’s J-E-W-E-L and then a ‘line’ and then E.” I write out “Jewel-e” – and I think, what were the parents thinking here? Don’t they realize that no one on the face of the planet is going to spell that correctly when they hear it? Doesn’t the thought enter their heads as they’re gazing on the face of that sweet infant in the hospital that every time that kid is late for school, some poor secretary is going to have to cross off “Julie” and write “Jewel-e,” wasting her precious time – which she will need to fill out Samyul’s, Kenidee’s, Leica’s, Zachgary’s, Maecin’s, and Eian’s tardy slips? Yes, not giving your child a stupid name will be of benefit to the child as well, but that doesn’t really matter to me. I would just really like to go to work someday and have the world make sense again. I want to say, “What’s your name?” and hear, “Michael” and be able to confidently write “Michael” and not hear, “No, not like that. It’s…” Is that so much to ask?

Enjoy my blog. Laugh at the strange names. Laugh at the idiot parents who gave these names to their kids. Whatever you do, just do NOT put any of these names on a birth certificate!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How Many Ways Can You Spell...

I've been collecting strange and unusual names and name spellings for a few years now, and one name stands out as having the most spellings. The name is pronounced "CAY-LEE." Check out these spellings:

First we have some that start with "C": Caelie, Cailey, Caley, Calleigh, and Caylee. Of these, only one isn't spelled the way it sounds - "Calleigh," with its double "L", should be pronounced "Cal-lee" with a short "a" sound.

And then we have the rest, all starting with "K": Kailee, Kaili, Kailie, Kayle, Kaileigh, Kaely, KaeLee, Kali, Kaeley, Khalee, Kailli, Kailey, and Kaeli. In this group, "Kayle" should be pronounced "Kale" and "Khalee" should be pronounced "Collie" like the dog, but the rest can legitimately be pronounced "Cay-lee."

I've included "Kayleigha" and "Kaleigha" in this group, but they are probably pronounced "Kay-lee-uh."

I think something should be done to standardize the spelling of this name, don't you? I'm just not sure which spelling I would choose. The name rhymes with "daily," so maybe "Caily" would be best - or "Kaily." That way a child who is asked her name could say "Caily with a C," or "Kaily with a K," and everyone would write the name correctly. Interestingly, neither of these spellings is listed above.

My name is Carol, and I have always been able to say, "My name is Carol," and people spell it right. Once in a while someone asks if there's an "e" on the end, but not very often. My sister-in-law, Karol, has to say, "Karol with a K" - but she's used to that now and doesn't really mind.

I think we need to standardize "Caily" so that, as these girls grow up, they will only have to clarify the first letter of their name and not have to spell it out every time they are asked. It will save their sanity. And it will save the substitute school secretary (ME!) from using up an entire pencil eraser every time a "Cay-lee" comes to the tardy slip line.

Do any of you have additional spellings of this name? Anything really weird? I'd love to see them!
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